I THINK I HATE (SOME) MEN

For deadbeat dads, womanizers, rapists, pedophiles, narcissistic etc

I refuse to believe that all the nefarious traits some men behold that they picked up while growing up, some yes might have been acquired but majority I believe are intrinsic and to abolish them men will need to make a choice.

The reason most males are predictable is because almost all men think and act the same. This therefore, justifies my argument that the demeanor we see some men operate on is intrinsic, more of natural. Don't get me wrong ! what I'm implying is that some men have gotten away with suppression of women bc the society has sympathized with them that they acquired the behaviors they portray. You'll hear someone defend a man who has hit a woman with a phrase saying that he grew up seeing women whipped. The blame therefore shifts from why a man is beating a woman to, he should have not seen it growing up.

It is common now to excuse ill manners and treatment based on societal demands. I'll quote a case scenario by Keshi

That's where we are. Normalizing oppression over justice. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 8:11

[11]When a crime is not punished quickly, people feel it is safe to do wrong.

Being born a man there is an antagonism that comes with it, an authoritative attitude seasoned with a heightened ego that is fed upon subduing women. This subjugation grows with time depending on the environment. David wrote that humans are born in sin in Psalms 51:5 [5]For I was born a sinner—   yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. This shows how men are born with this portion of sin, a portion of control over a woman, even if it shall take forced control as long as it serves a man's purpose. Things we see these men do, beat a woman, fuck women around and dump them, cheat on women etc are things that they do for their comfort. It is a form of being selfish that can't be explained. To some men as long as it's not affecting them, it doesn't matter who's hurt even if it's the woman. When a man dumps a woman and she comes begging him for a reconsideration, it makes the man feel powerful. Seeing her cry makes him feel he's got full control of her. At that point he feels stronger and important, it feeds their ego more. One character that men who cheat on women have is that, they tend to be very selfish.

To be a mindful man, it takes a choice, empathy, giving up full control and letting your heart be of flesh and not of stone. Being a mindful man of women interests takes learning, it takes forfeiting some societal demands and standing for what you know to be true. Women are not beings of subjugation, they are companions, not inferior but catalysts of change, growth, adoration and beauty of everything that has meaning in this world.

I asked Dorsy Okoth her pov and this is what she wrote regarding the matter based on what she has researched and come across: Subscribe To Her

What happened to men - (some - Most) men

The best part of doing my hair is that , I leave looking exquisite after days of looking homeless. Salons are fun . I love visiting mine but not everything about it is fun .The part I love and really enjoy almost like I'm invested in is , listening to radio jambo and the stories people call in with . Not the braiding , not the several hours of sitting ,not even the blow-dry just the stories. Most of the braiding time we listen and discuss the situations .But there's this one show my salonist never misses " patanisho ". She waits, she loves it .

Who doesn't love patanisho ? It's funny , very funny . Most times it's the couples that call in trying to settle issues with their partners ,90% of the time it's the wives calling about their husbands . Today , a woman called in complaining about the husband being a deadbeat dad . .I listened but I couldn't help thinking, nothing is really perfect. These stories always feel the same . Different people , different details... but the same patterns . Somedays it's the women who are at fault . But most days it's always about MEN .

Men cheating , men not taking responsibility ,men walking away from their children I'm not talking about the ones struggling but trying ,but those who simply choose not to show up

Men,Men.

I find myself wondering ... was it always like this ? . Look around , most relationships , marriages and families feels messy or they are .of course women also make mistakes but more often than not ,the blame seems to fall on men . According to a research made by the Kenya National Bureau of statistics, most issues like absentee fatherhood and domestic instability affect and continue to affect many households ,revealing a shift in how families relate and function

So where did they go wrong ? Can men reclaim their place , their name and their responsibility ? I genuinely want to understand .Why do some men cheat ? Why do some become absent fathers ? Why do some beat women ? ..Beyond the excuse ..." ni shetani" " it's the devil " what is really happening ?

This isn't about offering a solution . It's about asking the questions : can things change ? Will things change ? Because as generations keep moving forward , it's getting worse and out of hand . Not all men , but many .It's always the same stories everyday . He left , he doesn't want the child, he doesn't provide even when he can , there's violence , there's neglect.

Why ? Is it that men are already seen as the problem , so some grow into that expectation ? Is it that we've come to accept ?

We are warned from a young age to be careful with them . But the question still remains :What went wrong and why can't we try to make it right ?