The Yoke Of Hedonism

Hedonism ; the pursuit of pleasure; sensual self-indulgence.

I have read countless articles praising hedonism with well crafted idioms, metaphors, good literature embedded in the articles as a whole. There has however been a careless ignorance of the factors at play in pursuit of pleasure. I have also read how many find sex in marriage as a principle that propagates slavery, or rather a caged or confined mentality. But thinking about it, is really that way? I mean God is such a gentleman that He barely forces anyone to undertake a certain path. Sexual paths included. He doesn't kill those who chose to sexually indulge, He watches as millions choose their will. He created sex, the hormones, the nerves and all other factors at play during intercourse. We can't pretend to be all-wise than Him who gave the favorable environment for sex. He said sex in marriage is guiltless and is under a covenant. Now, you and I know that pleasure pursuit is not the only factor at play when in love with someone.

I am a therapist, and at my course of duty, I have met damsels, who received every jar of pleasure in full from different men, but still it didn't quench the men. Many females think and thought that, if I give him, he's gonna be mine alone, he won't seek more outside and all other presumed shenanigans we hear and say. Linda( not her real name) told me how she got too good strokes from the last relationships she had with Naziri and Cal. Strokes were soo good that her heart palpitated within and without. There only true connection was during sex, the guys new. The apology was sex, the goodmorning was sex, the lunch were her breasts and dinner was the whole of her. Lisa had read somewhere that she's in her youth and christianity is a barrier, and no sex until marriage is archaic. That, what she needed is slow fingering, getting hickey's, soft rubs, that she could also be food that needed real eating, she also heard a podcast that said, she needs to taste her man, what if they get into marriage and he's impotent or not a performer. Everyone was telling her have it, girl you're grown up you make your own decisions now.

Lisa knew what she was to do, and she gave herself freely, she enjoyed it soo much at firs until she felt she needed something more than hard strokes at 12am, morning quickies, she felt she needed to breathe, she needed dates, outdoor activities, she felt she needed to just have 3 days of sleep for herself without anything inserted into her, she felt she needed meaningful conversations, she felt she needed emotional balance. Lisa is furious because now men, she has been with, only thought Lisa was good at sex, they never implored can Lisa bake, crotchet, sing, dance.

Candy( not her real name) had a similar storyline but different basis. For candy, she didn't hear about the liberation of having sex. She felt it. Certain mornings she'd wake up and feel an urge soo strong that it only needed quenching. She'd touch herself, rub her breast against the pillow and feel a sense of companionship. She didn't understand how it would feel soo comfortable. At her Church they taught about sex, not as she knows it, they taught it's a sin out of the confines of marriage, but Candy didn't understand how she felt leave alone marriage, what she knew is that what she always feels needs to be acted upon. But she was yet to know how to act upon it. One night, Candy told me in our fifth therapy session, she was on her dera and a pillow was within her legs, as she moved about the edge of the pillow touched her middle zone, she felt a thrill, a millisecond surge of euphoria, tried again, now conscious, she felt again. Out of curiosity each night she tried until one day she used her hand, and the more she touched, the more she felt her fingers move, the unconscious she got, the faster the finger moved at suddenly she'd be calm, feel empty and sleep. Candy didn't know what that was, she knew it's what she needed to sleep. At Church she heard it was called mastarbation and it was a sin.

Lisa and Candy are examples of two people who have experienced different forms of hedonism. But it somehow never made them feel whole, yes they enjoyed the instant gratification, but it was soo familiar to them that they needed something futuristic, something to be ambitious about, something like a family someday, business ventures etc. The creator of pleasures said, wait until marriage, have we ever posed to question why? The problem with humans they are too ignorant to become curious. Personally I have asked myself why did God specifically choose the arena of marriage to exercise sex?

This is what I discovered, that, he chose sex in marriage because two become one in a covenant. A covenant is something that bounds you to what you've decided to do, and since marrying someone is a choice, it bounds the two people into those choices. Sex is soo sacred to God that He doesn't it being paraded as a candy crush game. If we only understood the power of sex in connection of both soul and body, then we'd understand why God takes it soo seriously that He demands it should be under the confines of marriage. The funny part is that we always pretend to be wiser than the maker, it's like one day a product you made becomes suddenly all knowing. The reason relationships don't last, not all, but many, is because people start off at the wrong priorities, sex first they getting to know them later, which is a very warped mindset. Cos getting emotionally entangled first, blinds your judgment and logic towards a man you're getting to know, so the girl ends up skipping all his red flags, until she's deep in chaos that's when she poses and asks, who is this person who's dating me? But sadly it's a right question and the wrong time.